The Morning After
by 0HappyEverAfter0
Summary: Merlin doesn't want to be intimate with Arthur until Arthur knows his secret. So after spending a night together as a result of wine, Merlin wakes up and starts to panic thinking Arthur will never forgive him. This is an Arthur finds out oneshot! M/M


_A/N: So this is not an update to Killing Me Slowly or my Vampire Diaries stories. I know, I'm a horrible person :( I have had the WORST case of writers block for MONTHS :( I've become addicted to Merlin and I've had the idea for this story for over a month but couldn't get up the willpower to put it to paper. I've been in the "I suck as a writer!" crises mode. But yesterday I started this story and couldn't stop writing! It was the BEST feeling in the world. So now you have almost 4,000 words of hopefully awesome Merlin goodness._

_Ok, the important stuff: This takes place some time after season three. There is no slash because I've never wrote M/M. I might consider writing a follow up to this if I get enough people wanting it. I'm not British so I'm hoping I didn't botch anything to badly- please let me know if there's any serious errors. This is unbeta'd- if you want to beta my Merlin stories please let me know- I'm new to this fandom! I don't Merlin, but remember this story IS mine, don't steal._

_Ok, that's all :)_

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**THE MORNING AFTER  
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The first rays of golden sun drifted through the open window on the wings of a fresh summer breeze. The sunshine crept over the room, slowly encouraging the world to wake. As it slithered up over the end of the bed it roused a sated lover from his sleep.

Merlin rubbed his eyes and groaned as he felt the pounding in his head- a hard reminder that he really wasn't able to hold his wine. There was a celebration of some kind last night, he had given up remembering what they were all for anymore, and Arthur had decided he was going to be nice and sneak some wine back for just him and Merlin to enjoy afterward. He didn't actually remember partaking with Arthur, but the ache in his belly and extreme headache were proof enough. He rolled onto his back to test the extent of his hangover and instantly froze as he felt another body next to his. His eyes flew open and he sat straight up in bed. Except he instantly realized he wasn't in his bed, he was in Arthur's and he was stark naked.

For a moment he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. More than anything he wished that he could close his eyes and wake up from the nightmare this had to be. He dared a look over at Arthur to see him sleeping more peacefully than he'd seen him in quite some time. He tried to remember exactly what had happened last night. It was fuzzy, but he remembered trying to fend off Arthur's advances but being unable to resist when his inhibitions were lowered beyond his control. In the morning light it was obvious Arthur had planned everything out. The sexual tension between them the past few months had been unbearable palpable, but his secret had kept him from giving in to the mutual attraction. Apparently Arthur, being the prat he is, decided to take matters into is own hands and not let Merlin get away with the excuses. For one moment he let himself smile over the fact Arthur wanted him that badly, and then he snapped back to the reality of the matter.

Tears started flowing down his face and his breath quickened with the panic attack that was coming on. He jumped out of bed and started frantically searching for his clothes. He had ruined everything! He found his breeches, but through his tears he tripped over himself and stumbled onto the floor. Letting out a screech, he gathered himself into a ball and cried over everything he had just lost. He knew he should have finished gathering his things and got out of there but he was breaking so thoroughly that his vision narrowed and his joints froze up on him.

"Merlin?"

At the sound of his voice, his beautiful perfect voice, Merlin's heart broke into even more pieces than he thought possible.

"Merlin?" He could hear rustling of the bedsheets, and somehow found the resolve to stand up and gather the rest of his things and get dressed. It took everything inside him not to raise his eyes to meet his prince's- his friend's- his lover's eyes. Merlin felt trapped and like he couldn't breathe, his sole thought was to get to his own room so he could suffer in silence. Just as he put his hand on the door, Arthur grabbed him by the shoulder and roughly turned him around.

"Merlin!" Whatever he was going to say was cut short as Arthur took in the state Merlin was in. Arthur roughly gripped his shoulders and brought his face within inches of his own. "By the Gods, Merlin, what's happened?" The semblance of calm Merlin was clinging too dissipated and the true agony of the situation fell on him- it felt like the life was being choked out of him. Huge sobs racked his small frame and he fell into Arthur's arms.

Arthur simply held his devastated manservant for several minutes until it dawned on him he was the reason for his friends pain. As quick as possible, Arthur released him and distanced himself. "Apparently I have gravely misunderstood your intentions, and I apologize for my digressions. If you would like another position in the royal house I will happily refer you and release you from your duties. I can understand how I've put you in a precarious situation." Arthur's tone had taken on his prince voice that he had very rarely used with Merlin. This only caused Merlin to sob harder; that Arthur could ever think he didn't want him, that he had forced him, was unbearable.

"No you stupid prat, you have no idea what I've done. I wanted everything last night so badly, but it never should have happened. Not like that, never like that!" He tried to take huge gulps of air, but he was in the middle of a full blown panic attack. Arthur's features had gather into a confused frown.

"Tell me what's going on." he demanded.

At this statement the fear in Merlin surged to unprecedented heights. For the first time since he had woken, he dared meet Arthur's eyes with his own. Without intending to, his voice came out in a high-pitched frantic yell.

"That's just it! I can't tell you! There's so many things I can't tell you and it's driving me crazy Arthur, absolutely crazy! You are the one person I want to share who I am with, but right now isn't the time. Hell, it's probably not going to be time for years, and now I've gone and messed everything up! There's a lot of things I'm going to have to ask forgiveness for, and to be honest, I'm not even expecting you to forgive me, but this- oh Arthur this I know you will never let go. There are things you don't know about me, things you should have known before we _ever_ did something like this. I've had to give up so much these past few years; all for you, but this was something that was so hard to let go. But I did, because somehow I still hoped that one day, one day you would know everything and accept and we could be together. But now your going to hate me and I don't think..." he was unable to finish the sentence as the tears freely flowed from his eyes. Some part of him wanted to tell Arthur the truth, if only to force him to kill him and put him out of his misery. But that pesky little thing called destiny reminded him that no matter his feelings, or the now dark outlook for his happiness- he still had a duty to keep Arthur safe and see him to his kingship.

They stood staring each other down until Arthur strode forward and took Merlin's face in his hands. "We all have our secrets, but whatever yours are it will not change what's happened between us. You are mine." Rather than looking happy, Merlin's eyes only conveyed more pain and panic. Arthur felt lost and confused as to what could possibly be bothering his friend. He could only see one solution to end Merlin's suffering. "You're not leaving this room until you tell me what it is you're hiding."

"I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. Not until your king." While Arthur may appear daft at times, he's really quite brilliant when he needs to be- he was able to hear what Merlin was really saying; that whatever he was hiding was treason. That it wasn't _safe_ for him to tell Arthur until he was king. There were few things that could warrant that type of fear and secrecy. His breathe caught in his throat as he thought of Merlin, _his_ Merlin, caught up in any of those things. In the next couple seconds he tried to decide if it would matter if Merlin actually had done any of the things he was thinking. In the end, he decided nothing could change his opinion of the man in front of him.

"I know you. And while your a bumbling idiot, who's the worst manservant of all time- you're the best friend a man could ask for. You have saved my life on multiple accounts and have shown your loyalty time and time again. Whatever you have done, it will not change my opinion of you. Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I trust you! I just..." Merlin sighed deeply and realized he was going to be unable to get out of this without revealing at least a little part of what was truly going on. If worst came to worst, he knew he could protect Arthur from afar. However, whether his heart could handle the separation was an entirely different matter. He tried to think of what half truth he could tell Arthur without revealing his magic. This would still leave him with the dilemma of Arthur thinking they could have a relationship free of secrets- not to mention the fact it would make things even worse when he eventually did tell Arthur later. It was taking him longer than he realized to make his decision, because Arthur raised his chin and forced him to look at him. His eyes had hardened and were filled with genuine hurt and betrayal.

"If you trusted me then you wouldn't be trying to think of a way to lie to me again right now. If this is what you want then leave me now." Merlin's heart seized at the hurt in Arthur's voice. He had him backed up in a corner with no where to run. It was a loose-loose situation situation for him.

"I do trust you, with my life, but I can't put you in the position this knowledge will put you in." Arthur dropped his hands to Merlin's shoulders, but continued to look him in the eye. "You've already made it quite clear that whatever your secret is, it's treason. Even with knowing that, I want to know what it is. There is to be no secrets between us." Merlin wasn't sure if Arthur would still feel the same way after finding out the extent of his secret, but it was obvious he was going to have to reveal his magic. Maybe this was fate's way of saying it was time.

With a steadying breath, Merlin distanced himself from Arthur and quietly whispered the spell to make a flame dance on the palm of his hand. He kept his eyes shut as tightly as possible waiting for the scathing remarks and the ring of metal as Arthur unsheathed his sword. However, neither of those ever came.

To his credit, Arthur remained extremely calm in the face of finding out his most trusted friend and new lover was the thing he was taught to hate the most. He knew this was a possibility, but he was really hoping this wasn't Merlin's secret. It turned his entire world upside down and affirmed his suspicions that his father's hatred for magic wasn't exactly founded in sound logic.

"You're a sorcerer." It was a statement, not a question, but Merlin nodded in confirmation. "For how long?" Merlin still didn't dare open his eyes, but his panic abated a bit at the calm in Arthur's voice.

"My entire life. I've only recently studied it, in order to gain more control over my magic." He whispered the word magic, still feeling extremely nauseous saying it in front of the crowned prince of Camelot. Merlin kept his eyes down and extinguished the flame in his hand. Magic since birth was extremely surprising to Arthur, he had never heard of anyone being born with magic. "How is that possible?"

"I'm not sure honestly. Apparently I'm kind of special like that. I..." he stopped himself short, before revealing too much. Arthur was taking it well, but he didn't want to push him too far. "Come on now, no more secrets- out with it."

"Well, according to some prophecies, you're supposed to be the greatest king to ever live that will unite all of Albion. And I, well I'm supposedly going to be the most powerful warlock to ever live. Specifically to help you build this great kingdom. Technically we're supposed to be a team, but I don't think you're supposed to know all this yet. You know, if you want I can probably figure out a way to make you forget all of this."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and growled deep in his throat. "No, you will not make me forget all of this. Have you done something like that before? Used magic on me?"

"No! No, of course not! I would never use magic like that on you. Not to mention, spells dealing with the mind have a really high risk factor." He paused a moment and let the panic fall from his voice. "I've only ever used my magic to help you. I've protected you more times than I can count. Protecting you has forced me to make some very hard decision; many that I'm not proud of, but I'd do all of it over again."

As the reality of the situation dawned on him, Arthur felt sick with all the times he had belittled Merlin for things that simply weren't true. All of the times Merlin had disappeared, or hung back he wasn't being a coward- rather he was ensuring their victory. If he wasn't the crown prince, he would have cried for the injustice Merlin had suffered at his own hand. In all truthfulness, he was the one that didn't deserve Merlin.

"Exactly how many times have you saved my life?"

Merlin scrunched his brow in concentration. "Not really sure, I've lost track over the years. Not to be mean, but your father has made a lot of magic users angry throughout his reign, and it seems like they all think the best way to get revenge is to kill you. It's rather ridiculous honestly."

Arthur's stomach turned at how blind he had been. "My father persecutes your kind and you still stand by my side. I don't understand."

"Well at first I didn't either." He laughed congenially, like he usually did at their daily banter, and both boys felt some of the tension leave the room. "You were a prat, but I was told it was my destiny to keep you safe. That in itself was a bit of a relief. I've always wondered why I was born this way; growing up different was very hard at times, and all of a sudden I finally had my reason. Would have been nicer if magic was actually legal here though. Anyways, I got to know you better and realized that you really are going to be a great king some day and then I wanted to fulfill my destiny, then somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and it obviously solidified my reasons for staying."

"You love me?"

Merlin's attention snapped over to Arthur and his cheeks filled with a very rosy pink color. The room suddenly felt hotter to Merlin and his breathing was a little more ragged. He had been on a roll and hadn't meant to let that bit of information out. He knew that just because they had sex didn't mean Arthur wanted anything more than friendship with a little fooling around on the side.

"I don't suppose we could at least forget I said _that_, could we?" Arthur grinned like the cat that caught the canary and charged over to Merlin. He forcefully took him in his arms and kissed him with all the passion he could muster. Merlin groaned and let himself get lost in the sensuous feeling of Arthur's lips on his own. No one had known him so fully since Freya all those years ago, and it felt beyond amazing. Tears of joy slipped down and over his defined cheekbones. Arthur pulled back and noticed the wet streaks marring Merlin's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing. It's just; you have no idea how good it feels for you to know. Only five other people have ever known my entire life and it's such a burden to carry."Arthur scoffed and punched Merlin in the shoulder. "You're such a girl!" Merlin smacked the side of his arm and brought him in for another kiss. He nipped at his bottom lip and slowly slid his tongue along Arthur's teeth. Kissing him felt like finally coming home and he never wanted it to stop. Unfortunately, it was at that exact moment there was a knock on the door before Gauis entered the room.

"Your highness, have you seen Merlin? Oh!" The boys jumped apart and did their best to not look like they weren't caught red handed. The tomato red of both their cheeks and Arthur's state of near undress was a traitor however, and Gauis had the decency to look chagrined.

"Whatever you two are up to is your own business, but keep in mind anyone could have come through the door. Merlin I have some errands for you to run whenever you can see to it." He left without waiting for a response and a full bellied laugh could be heard echoing through the stone halls. Merlin shut the door behind him and turned to face Arthur.

"I guess I should get back to my duties. The kitchens are probably wondering where I've been, you must be hungry."

Arthur's face fell as he realized that everyone else still had to think of Merlin as just a servant. "I promise you that one day everyone will know who you truly are and they'll respect you for it. You'll stand by my side and take orders from no one, but me of course." Merlin smiled and brushed a finger over Arthur's cheek. "Thank you. But until then, someone still has to get your royal arse some food. How about you see if you can dress yourself for once, and I'll go get you your breakfast."

"Fine, but I think I'm going to need you to stay here tonight. It can get cold in here in the evenings and we can't have the only heir to the throne dying from a cold. You will have to stay and keep the fire stoked."

Considering it was the middle of summer, there was absolutely no validity to Arthur's complaints, so Merlin smiled and leaned in close before whispering "Yes, _master_" in the most seductive voice he could muster. Chills ran up Arthur's spine as he though of the night to come. "See to your duties and then we're going to have a long talk about all the times you've used magic. After that, I'd like to see some of this magic of yours for myself."

On instinct, Merlin froze at the idea of having to tell Arthur about his birth, Morganna, the dragon, Mordred, and some of the other horrible decisions he had to make over the years. It dawned on him he wasn't actually out of the woods yet; there were still things Arthur may not forgive him for. Arthur seemed to pick up on this and tried to calm Merlin's fears. "Stop worrying. I know there's going to be some bad with the good. Some of it may make me angry, but your _mine_, and I don't plan on letting you go. Understood?" Merlin gave him a sad smile. "Yes, I'm _yours_. I get it you royal caveman."

With a yelp, Merlin dodged the goblet that was thrown towards his head. He ran towards the door and made to leave the room.

"Oh and Merlin?"

He poked his head back in to see what other demand Arthur had for him.

"I love you too, you idiot." Merlin's heart filled with warmth and burst with joy. Never in a million years did he expect to hear those words from the prince's lips meant just from him. He left for the kitchen with a skip in his step and new-found happiness. For once he thought maybe this destiny thing wasn't that bad after all.

THE END

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><em><br>A/N: So, what did you think? I'm dying for some feedback on this. Were they in character enough? Please leave me a comment!_


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